his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
