ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
