I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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