from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
