Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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