New low: just hacked my moms facebook
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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