VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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