Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
