mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
