You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
