cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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