and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
