I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
