You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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