What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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