I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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