its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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