i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
