His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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