Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
