Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
