i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
