He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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