Yo dont text me then not text me
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
