Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize