Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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