He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
