At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize