You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
