I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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