I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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