you would pick up someone in the library
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
