I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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