are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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