At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
