i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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