This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
