so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
