It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
