There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
