We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
