He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
