This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize