Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
