wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
