yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I believe in your delicious
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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