How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize