We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
