$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
