If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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