this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
