Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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