i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
