How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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