oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
