There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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