So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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