He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
