I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
