I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's never too late to be topless.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
