So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize