are you still at the devil's house?
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So vagazzling was a success
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
