he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize