Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
