I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Life without a bra equals bliss.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
