Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
