No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
