I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
