I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
