They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
