): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
