He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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