HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Quick, to the slutcave!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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