Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
