You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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