...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
