why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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