i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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