It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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