apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
